Holy shit, Kafka was a climber!

in which we discover, much to our astonishment, that many great writers have loved nothing more than the bliss and terror of scaling rocks, & that they have indeed revealed that love in their very work. With pretty pictures.

Belated Trip Report: Easter Weekend in Kalbarri

So … this was awesome. We slept under the stars (warm enough to use just a Thermarest and mosquito net) and swam the gorges and, of course, climbed. A lot of the routes were out of my league, at least as leads - climbs in the primary area of The Promenade start at 24 (5.12a). I learned some interesting things about top-roping, though: not safe, friends, if the climb is very overhung. BIG swings. With rope stretch. Especially if you fall off the first move. Take it from my bruised heel (bruised heels SUCK, they take an incredibly long time to heal). Great names for the climbs in The Promenade, though: apparently “I screamed like a girl when I came off Heavy Petting,” is not something you should say to a bunch of climbers … Almost as funny as almost everything we had to say about Rodney, and his project, ‘Love Muscle’ (which he sent! Nice!).

Jarrod M., who is the strongest climber I know, came along for the last couple of days and fulfilled his project of sending all ten climbs in The Promenade in a single weekend. Yep, that’s: Heavy Petting (25), Super Funky (25), Fuck The Law (25), Root Canal (26), Look At The Bears (26), She Magic (26), Bustin’ Down The Door (27), Homophobia (28), and not least, Glass Slipper (29)(5.13b). Beautiful to watch.

Speaking of which (ha!), my boyfriend, A., took a good lead fall and split his shin to the bone, which meant we left the gorge early to get him some stitches. Ridiculously stoic about it, but exposed bone is not something you can delay fixing.

This is by far the best climbing I’ve done in Western Australia. I eventually stopped calling every hold a ‘nightmare sloper’! And I’m training hard on the overhung gym stuff so I can go back in June and actually lead some of the easier routes. Who wants to come?

(This is me on She Magic (26 / 5.12c), a truly lovely line in The Promenade. Jarrod M. is the blurry figure on the wall behind me. Blurred deliberately, yes. You’ve had enough glory Jarrod!)


Bouldering on the Wisconsin Side (by Croixboy)

Bouldering on the Wisconsin Side (by Croixboy)

Gilgamesh,32 Retro rock series (by Cragrat)

Gilgamesh,32 Retro rock series (by Cragrat)

On a knife rim edge-up into whirlpools of sky,
feet are no anchor. Gravity sucks at the mind
spinning the blood-weighted body head downward.

Mary Barnard, from ‘Height is the Distance Down’

(Source: poetryfoundation.org)

091133 (by ~magpie~)

091133 (by ~magpie~)

One time last summer when my friend Tommy and I got up hella early to do a climb in Tuolumne, we skipped breakfast, but I mixed together cold water, protein powder and Starbucks Via in a 14-ounce Nalgene bottle and chugged it on the drive to the trailhead. Tommy said he would rather skip coffee than drink cold coffee. I was like, What are you, some kind of savage?

This article says all I want to say about coffee and climbing:

When you go on a climbing or backpacking trip and someone says, “I’ll bring the coffee,” do you secretly bring your own stash to supplement whatever they’re bringing, because you know you’re going to drink double the amount of coffee they think you’re going to drink, and then some? I do too. This is not a control issue; it is a coffee issue.

Yes sir, yes I do.

My current preferred method for brewing coffee on outdoor expeditions is this little baby. It’s a plunger and cup in one, and I used it several times a day on our Kalbarri expedition. Full report on which is pending.

(Source: adventure-journal.com)

whackedwarri0r asked: Hey, you have a sick blog! I just wanted to say when I met Sam B, the sheer muscle mass in her back and shoulders actually kinda scared me, but watching her and James Kassay have an arm wrestle was probably the highlight of competing in Oceania, Anyway I just wanted to say I wish I still climbed so I had some photos to submit to you :/

Ha, thanks so much. I’m pretty desperate to know now, who won?

So, guess who has three whole days of climbing in the gorges of Kalbarri? Hell. Yeah.

So, guess who has three whole days of climbing in the gorges of Kalbarri? Hell. Yeah.

(Source: panoramio.com)

James Kassay at Hueco Tanks

James Kassay at Hueco Tanks

Jessica Taverna on ‘Equipment Overhang’, 11A, Gate Buttress. Photo by Chris Noble.

Jessica Taverna on ‘Equipment Overhang’, 11A, Gate Buttress. Photo by Chris Noble.

… though small against the black,
small against the formless rocks,
hell must break before I am lost …

H. D., from “Eurydice” (via proustitute) [adapted from the original]

(via airwalker)

GPOYW: Last weekend, leading Shaved Cat (20 / ~5.11a) at Bob’s Hollow, Western Australia. This is the exact climb on which, last time I was here, a guy was bitten by a deadly tiger snake. Maybe that explains my ridiculous climbing face ;)
Photo © A. Mitteregger

GPOYW: Last weekend, leading Shaved Cat (20 / ~5.11a) at Bob’s Hollow, Western Australia. This is the exact climb on which, last time I was here, a guy was bitten by a deadly tiger snake. Maybe that explains my ridiculous climbing face ;)

Photo © A. Mitteregger